“Was Lost, and Now am Found”
" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found." –Luke 15:31,32
A soldier sent the following note to our WELS National Civilian Chaplain to the Military the day after he led a Bible study on The Prodigal Son. It has been modified for use on this website.
As I read this parable, I completely identified with the older son.
My brother started drinking around eight years old and by thirteen he was well on his way to being an alcoholic. By high school, he was drinking, smoking pot daily, and experimenting with crack and ecstasy. I remember hearing phone calls at night, “Your son is in the hospital, he’s been in a wreck,” or, “Your son has been arrested, you can post bond for him tomorrow,” or being awakened to help my dad go find him when no one called. For me, it added another annoyance and embarrassment. For everything my brother did wrong, I did right. I was a straight A student, varsity athlete, in the youth group, and definitely home by nine on Friday night.
I built up resentment and anger towards my brother, my parents, and the world. I couldn’t understand why my parents kept bailing him out. I can remember telling my dad to “let him fall into his own pit.” My dad said something to the effect of 'Then where would he be?' Of course, as the ‘other’ son in this parable I didn’t care. Though the younger son in the parable pained his father outwardly through his actions, the older son was just as heartbreaking inwardly through his jealousy.
It wasn’t until years later when I got lost twice in Iraq that I realized I was in as much need of God's grace, mercy and forgiveness as the younger son and my brother.
The war was moving faster than we anticipated. Vehicles had a hard time keeping up with their units. I was sent back to find three missing vehicles. I found fourteen, rounded them up, and started moving them forward. When we made it to our rendezvous point and found no one, I realized the unit had moved on. By default, I was lost. The unit was going toward Baghdad, so we would head north too.
I needed to figure out where we were going to get fuel in the middle of the desert. I found a paved road, and I vaguely remembered part of a briefing about turning right on a paved road, so we did. Almost immediately I got a sick feeling. We turned around. I was feeling much better. We still needed fuel. Another unit saw us. They sent a vehicle out to bring us into their area. They sized up my supply trucks. I sized up their fuel trucks. I shook hands with a couple of Captains and we traded some supplies for fuel. Finding this unit solved my problems. (After hearing that Jessica Lynch’s unit had been taken earlier in the day, my plans for joining my original unit changed. I still wonder what would have happened if we kept going right.)
I got lost a second time. It was a sunny, beautiful and calm day as I went to battalion headquarters for the daily meeting. When I left, it was pitch black and the wind was whipping sand everywhere. My trucks were parked just outside the units’ perimeter, and I decided I could find them. I walked outside the protective wire, turned left, and walked to where I thought they were. But they weren’t there. I turned to the right and walked a little bit farther. That’s when I realized I was out in the middle of nowhere and had no idea where to go. I didn’t know if anyone could see me because it was totally dark. I didn’t know if anyone could hear me yelling for help because the wind was so strong. Thankfully I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard a voice telling me, “I have you, follow me, I will lead you back in.” That soldier brought me back in the wire, pointed me in the direction of my trucks, and showed me the path. He watched me through his night vision goggles to make sure I made it there safely.
I have now learned what it means to be lost—and to be found. I hope I never forget.